and not a single fuck will be given this semester

Saw my favorite high school teacher today. She imparted some info as to what I should do once I’m back in the city. Still much to experience. So, I’m making a list. I may post it later. 

My younger cousins graduated from high school today (that’s actually why I saw my old teacher). Going back to that school reminds me of how terribly insecure I was and how I’ve made progress. I’m really excited for them both. College can be so fun and the newness of it is so thrilling. That’s the kind of excitement I plan on going into this year with. I remember being so open and ready for change when I started college but I began sophomore year with a weight from the year before. I don’t give no fucks this semester, lol. I’m enjoying the hell out of the time I have left. Excitement :)

things are changing. 

I did it. Emailing done.

feeling of accomplishment, check. 

Being real, I’m scared. Basically shitless. I don’t think I know what I’m getting myself into and it’s starting to really hit home, you know? I just don’t want to be a fuck up. I don’t want to feel like a fuck up. I really would like to try though. Look, I’ll even send the emails I’ve been putting off. 

start.

I don’t really believe myself most of the time. It’s a touchy subject. This is just to help me cope with myself, I guess.  Or rather, it’s an attempt to cope with myself and a record of sorts, since I assume I will change along the way.